Attack of the Zombie Spiders
by Koki-chan
Summary: What really happens to all those spiders you kill? Ed is about to find out.Oneshot.


**Yeah, this is my first attempt at a Fullmetal Alchemist fic ... and it's a fic about spiders ... XD I _hate _those things! This story idea came to me when I scared the crap outta myself when I wondered if the zombies of all those spiders I killed and flushed down the swirling abyss would ever come back and try to smush me repeatedly and unnecessary like I had to all of them. Brrrrr ... scary! Oh well! I hope I got the character's personalities down enough for you to even remotely see them doing this in you minds eye ... if any of that even made sense ... Enjoy!**

_**Disclaimer: You all know I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, right? Well ... I don't ... so there ...**_

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"Al! Watch out!" Edward screamed, flying through the air in an attempt to knock his younger brother out of the way of 'danger,' only to succeed in smashing his face against the heavy armor. 

"What is it, Nii-san?" Alphonse asked, unaware of his brother's severe facial injury.

"Fere's a mider!" Edward screamed, his puffed up cheeks distorting the message.

"What?"

"There's a spider!" Ed finally managed to scream. He clapped his hands together, a bright flash of light surrounding his hands. When the light died down, it revealed Edward's automail arm had been transmuted into a huge mallet. "DIE!" he laughed maniacally as he slammed his arm-mallet onto the spider repeatedly, cracking many floor tiles in the process. "Now for the finish!" he then took his automail leg and stomped the spider guts into the ground. "Success!" Ed screamed, pleased with his victory.

"Um, Ed, are you okay?" Al asked, having never seen his bother act this way. Okay, having never seen his brother act this way towards a spider.

"Yes, Al, I'm fine. Phew! That was a close on." Ed sighed, wiping the sweat off of his forehead with his arm.

"Why did you do that, Ed?" Alphonse asked, his voice quivering. "That spider didn't do anything to you."

"Of course it did something to me!" Edward screamed, offended that his actions were misinterpreted as a senseless act of violence.

"Really? What did it do to you to deserve such a harsh punishment?" Al asked, a smidgen of hope for his brother showing through in his voice.

"It was a spider of course! It hadn't really _done _anything to me, yet ... but I could tell in its eight beady little eyes it was planning something." Ed muttered, disgusted with the spider's supposed intentions.

"Oh, Ed." Alphonse sighed, that hope dashed. "One of these days it's going to catch up to you."

"Nah, what are dead spiders going to do?" Edward scoffed, waving the idea off with his hand.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

That night, as Ed lay in his bed, snoring loudly, Alphonse sat at the window of the inn, looking up at the stars. "What a beautiful night." Alphonse smiled.

"Die, Spider War Lord!" Edward screamed in his sleep, kicking his legs and flailing his arms.

Alphonse shook his head, his moment ruined.

Edward continue to flail about, screaming insults and battle cries, "Squashinating Kick!" he screamed, throwing a swift kick into Alphonse's side. Luckily, it was Edward's automail leg, so no boo-boos needed to be kissed.

Alphonse heaved an annoyed sigh as he made his way out the door of the inn. "Maybe it will be quieter outside." he mumbled, leaving Ed to fight the dream spiders.

A trail of drool ran down the corner of his mouth, "I'll kill you all!" he crowed.

Once all of the evil spiders in his dreams were vanquished, Edward woke up. "Victory!" he chuckled softly, sitting up in his bed. He began to rub the sleep out of his eyes when he realized that it was still dark out. "Hmmm ... I wonder what woke me up." he asked himself, surprised that he had not slept through the night.

A scuffling sound was made in the far corner of the room.

"Al?" Edward called, deducing that Alphonse moving about in the room had interrupted his slumber.

The scuffling continued, but no answer was given.

"Al?" Edward called again, worry evident in his voice. A tickling sensation was felt on his arm. He whipped his head to the side, his thick blond braid smacking his cheek. A small spider was making its way up his arm. Edward screamed, smashing the spider to mooshy smithereens with his auto-mail arm. "That'll teach you to mess with me!" Edward snickered. But then, something unexpected happened, something terrifying. The remnants of the spider slowly began to pull together, the spider perfectly reborn right were it was killed. Edward let out a blood-curdling scream as he crushed the spider once again. And once again, the spider put itself back together. Edward then took a different approach. He screamed and ran out of the room.

Behind him, those same scuffling noises were being made. He decided to be bold and looked over his shoulder. He screamed in pants-wetting horror at what he saw. Behind him was a vast army of spiders. Big ones, little ones, fat ones, hairy ones, spiders of all kinds. He picked up a vase on a table as he ran through the halls and chucked it at the army, squishing many spiders. "Take that!" he crowed in victory. But, they did not stay squashed. Every single one of those spiders rose up from their mushy remains stronger and scarier than before. Edward then took another entirely different approach. "AL!" he screamed as he burst through the front door. "HELP!" he bounded over to his brother and jumped onto his back.

"What is it, Nii-san?" Alphonse turned his head to try and look at his brother.

"Sp-sp-sp" Edward stuttered, "ZOMBIE SPIDERS!" he wailed, "They're after me!"

"Edward, I told you it would catch up to you on day." Alphonse sighed, peeling his brother off of his back.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Edward squeaked.

Alphonse remained silent when suddenly, his entire form began to quake.

"Al?"

The helmet of Alphonse's amour burst off, a legion of zombie spiders burst forth like a fountain. Every single one of them swarmed Edward,

Edward ran screaming into the night, taking many twists and turns in a desperate effort to lose the spiders, but to no avail. He turned a sharp corner, only to come face to face with a brick wall. He turned around, the army of spiders approaching. He clapped his hands together, the time for running was over, and he would no go down without a fight. A bright light lit the entire alleyway up for a split second, revealing even more spiders crawling towards him on the walls. He pointed his arm-blade at the spiders, then he raised it up in the air as he ran toward the army, slashing at everything in sight, but it was no use. The spiders just kept coming back, soon overpowering him and burying him in the eight-legged horror.

"NOOOOOOO!" Edward screamed, jumping out of the bed and falling to the floor.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Alphonse asked, startled by Edward's sudden outburst.

Edward looked around, "It ... it was all a ... a dream." Edward sighed, relieved. "Yeah, I'm fine." he smiled at his brother.

"Okay." Alphonse laughed, "Oh, Ed, watch out." he walked over and plucked a spider off of Edward's arm. "There." Alphonse held out his hand, the spider crawling around on his palm.

"Get it away from me!" Edward screamed, diving under the bed. "Get rid of it!" he barked.

Alphonse looked at his brother, then at the spider. "I knew it would catch up to you." he chuckled.

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**There! It is complete! XD Yeah, I love seeing Ed totally freak out, which is evident in the story! XD R&R Tell me what you think! I hope you liked it!**


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